


Jumping to Conclusions

by keepyoursoul



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Backstory, Bottom Frank Iero, Crying, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Light Dom/sub, Lingerie, M/M, Oneshot, Porn With Plot, Secrets, Slight Crossdressing Kink, Smut, Top Gerard Way, gerard doubts if frank's bisexuality is real?, overreacting, there's some sad parts, theres a long backstory before it gets to the smut but it's neccessary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:08:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9971738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepyoursoul/pseuds/keepyoursoul
Summary: Frank and Gerard move in together. Gerard thinks Frank is keeping something from him and has a mild breakdown. This somehow leads to smut.





	

Gerard crouched on the floor in front of their open closet, folding each item and organizing it on their respective sides. And normally, Gerard would hate this task. He would leave the boxes of his belongings on the floor of his bedroom for months until the boxes were empty and the clothing was strewn everywhere, so that there was little option left but to cram it all into his closet.

But this, unlike that familiar and boring fantasy, was much better. Gerard truly thought that this day would never come, because this was not only the first time that he moved away from home, this was his first apartment with his _boyfriend_.

As Gerard sat on the dusty hardwood of their new place, he still almost couldn't believe that it was happening. Because he was Gerard, and Frank was... well, Frank.

To say that he'd admired him for a while would be an understatement. They'd known each other for years, Gerard met him in his second year of college through Mikey when Frank was still in high school, but even with the age difference, Gerard found himself developing quite the crush on the teenager who seemed to be around so often that Gerard simply couldn't avoid him.

It seemed like every time he left the confines of his basement, Frank was there. Him and Mikey were close in their last years of high school, and this began to be more of a problem for Gerard than a blessing, because being around Frank so much was only making his feelings for him grow more and more intense.

The problem with this, was that Frank was never single.

The first time that Gerard met Frank's girlfriend was around the third or fourth time he'd ever met Frank. He went up the stairs and into the kitchen where he could hear the voices of his brother and his friends talking. Gerard rounded the corner and made his way to the fridge as he grew anxious. He didn't really need anything from the kitchen, not really, but he'd be lying if he said that he didn't want to see Frank again. Even if it were only for a few moments, he couldn't get the teenager out of his head. His anatomy sketches for class were turning more masculine and soon they were mysteriously covered in the messy shadows of hazily-remembered tattoos. It was interfering with his project, he needed to get his Frank fix out of the way.

But as he entered the kitchen and took in the people leaning against the counter, he did a double-take when he saw Frank, familiarily gorgeous Frank with his too-short t-shirt and his hair that was always messed up in the back and his skin that was always tan no matter what the season, had his arm around the waist of a girl with blonde highlights and a lip piercing, and Frank's hand was conveniently placed in her back pocket, curving around her perfect ass, and Gerard could physically feel his heart drop at the sight of them.

He stood there with his stupid greasy hair and his dirty Motorhead shirt that he hadn't washed in a week, and all of a sudden he didn't really want a diet Coke anymore.

Frank noticed Mikey looking at something behind him, so he turned around as Gerard stood in the entrance of the kitchen.

"Hey," he said simply, his arm still securely wrapped around the girl.

"Um," Gerard said, feeling his stomach tighten in something that wasn't butterflies, but more like mini daggers, and he shot the girl a look before turning on his heels and walking the other direction without another word. Down the stairs and through the doorway and into his bedroom, locking the door behind him, as well as brushing away the hope that Frank would- what, talk to him? Notice him? Punch him in the face?

He didn't even know what he wanted, and he didn't need to figure it out anymore since it was all for nothing anyway. Frank was straight, or so he thought, so for the time being he stuck to his basement as much as possible and threw himself into his artwork. He wouldn't let himself be distracted by Frank any longer, it was a lost cause anyway, and for a very long time, he didn't see Frank or the annoying girl.

That was, until many months later, Frank knocked on his bedroom door one day.

It pulled Gerard out of his frantic concentration of sketching, hunched over his disastrous work desk littered with coffee cups and paint cups and pencils and papers and his entire life strewn across the floor of his basement bedroom. He looked up at the closed door, glancing down at what he had been working on so far. He didn't know what it was yet, he had only a vague idea, but it was bloody and it made him feel better about being all alone, but if the months of solitude got him a good grade, then he'd spend the next two years down here by himself, using his art as a sort of catharsis for everything that went wrong in his life and everything that he wanted so badly to just ignore.

"I'm busy, Mikey," he yelled. He had music playing on his shitty old speakers, but he realized that the album must have stopped long ago. He didn't notice when he was in the zone.

"It's not- It's not Mikey, it's Frank," an unfamiliar but familiar voice all at the same time said, a little muffled by the chipped wooden door in between them. Gerard could see the shadow of his feet.

He didn't know what to do. He was wearing pyjama pants, his hair was probably disgusting, there was probably charcoal smeared on his face from when he was scrubbing at his eyes tiredly.

"Come in?" he said, half-assedly scrambling to clean up some of the disaster that was happening around him, but he sort of just tried to shove it all into the corner because there was really just too much of it to do anything with in the five seconds it would take for Frank to enter the room. He just had time to pull up his dirty duvet to hide his disgusting bedsheets that really no one who cared at all in the slightest about personal hygiene should ever see.

Gerard looked up as Frank stood in the room, hands in his pockets, bright eyes a little shifty as he saw Gerard for the first time in months. He looked as good as ever. God, when did he ever not look good? His hair was shorter than before, and his nose was pierced now. Gerard's eyes not-so-subtly flitted down over his torso, he was wearing a _pink_ belt.. He tried not to smile when he noticed that Frank's jeans were rolled up several times on the bottom. He quickly snapped his eyes back up to Frank's face for fear that he was being too obvious.

"Are you busy?" Frank asked.

"Well," Gerard looked over to his desk with his many projects strewn about. He rubbed the back of his neck and scratched at his hairline awkwardly. Yes, he was busy. But, Frank wanted to talk to him about something. It must be important to come down here, right? "I can take a break I guess, why?" he asked.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out..." Frank asked him, avoiding his eyes by looking around the mess of a room. "I haven't seen you around for a while, and I thought you maybe wanted to get out and do something. You know... like you used to."

Gerard didn't know why Frank even cared or noticed that he didn't hang out with him and Mikey any more. He didn't want to be forced to sit in the same room as Frank and his girlfriend while they all pretended to watch a movie or go to a show when all Gerard would be noticing is the way that Frank touches her and looks at her and how he hates Frank for that, and then how he hates himself for ever thinking that he could hate Frank. Because he doesn't hate Frank, he just hates the fact that she was ever in the picture. He hates the fact that Frank is straight and Gerard would never, ever be good enough for him.

"I don't think I have time. I have a lot of stuff to do, you know. Finishing my final project," he told him.

"Oh, it's due soon?"

Gerard's eyes flitted over to the desk quickly. "Yes." He wasn't really lying. It was due in two months, but he did need to get it done.

"Cool, can I look at it?" Frank asked, but he didn't really wait for a reply, he walked over to the desk and gently lifted up the paper on the top, the paper that Gerard was just working on. He took in the rough sketch of a woman's face spattered in blood. He set it down and picked up another that caught his eye before Gerard could come over and stop him. It was a man's head, severed from the body. The eyes were blank, scratched out almost. There was a rosary around the man's neck, the intricate carved beads and cross contrasting with the torn, bloody flesh.

He set the drawing down.

"It's part of a bigger piece," Gerard said, as if that made it any better, and Frank didn't really say anything or look at him until he seemingly had time to digest that, before he turned and met his eyes again.

"That's sweet," he said, like he wasn't weirded out. Gerard almost believed him, until he came to his senses.

"Look, I have a lot to do, so I can't hang out today. Or any day. So, sorry. I'm sure your girlfriend would hang out with you though," he added in passing, and he wasn't exactly sure why he said it, because it came off as so bitter and exactly how he felt and the last thing that he wanted was for Frank to know the truth about how he felt about him. He was just Mikey's older brother, the elusive artist. Too cool to hang out with Frank, the teenager. He had adult things to do. College things to do. He didn't need to waste his time with a stupid seventeen year old.

"Is that what this is about?" Frank asked with no hesitation.

Gerard looked up from the papers he was ruffling through on his desk for no apparent reason. He almost couldn't make his eyes meet Frank's, who was staring at him with purpose.

"No," Gerard said.

Frank smiled. "Yes, it is."

"What are you talking about, Frank," Gerard turned around, feigning annoyance.

"I broke up with her, if you didn't hear. A month ago."

"Hmm?" Gerard said.

"Well, actually she broke up with me," he amended.

"Why?" Gerard asked.

"Umm," Frank smiled, scratching his chin briefly. He let out a sigh me must have been holding in. "I kissed someone else. But I didn't even want to kiss them." Gerard was about to butt in but Frank continued and Gerard fell silent again. "Well, I did want to kiss them. I did, but it wasn't like i wanted to kiss _them_ , I wanted to kiss someone _like_ them. But it just wasn't the same, and she found out. Somebody told her and... she ended it."

"I'm sorry?" Gerard said.

"Don't be," Frank told him, a weird sort of smug look on his face.

"So... why are you telling me this?" Gerard couldn't help but ask. Frank was here, in his bedroom explaining this all to him. This wasn't the Frank he knew. This wasn't the Frank he thought he knew, because he never truly knew him, not really.

"Mikey told me you've been hiding down here. Whenever I come over you never come upstairs anymore."

"I told you, I have shit for school to finish."

"That's bullshit," Frank told him. And he meant it, he was staring right at Gerard, making it hard for him to avoid his eyes. He was forced to look at his face, that perfect fucking face that he grew to loathe. It was an odd sort of feeling, to hate someone and to want someone so deeply. Part of Gerard wanted Frank to just hurt him, to tell him that there would never be any chance of them being together so that he could move on with his life. So that he could hate him for real.

But Frank wouldn't give him what he wanted.

"I did something stupid, that night that she broke up with me," Frank said.

Gerard didn't say anything. He noticed that Frank's scorpion tattoo was fucked up.

"It was at a party, and I was in one room and she was in the other. I got like, really drunk. Drunk enough that I couldn't really control myself anymore. And I knew what I was gonna do was stupid, but... nothing even mattered anymore. There was this guy that I was talking to-"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"-but the only reason that I was talking to him that whole night was because he was older, and he had dark hair that was kinda long. He was taller than me, also, and if I just kept drinking I could pretend. If I didn't look into his eyes then I could pretend that it was the same person, you know? His eyes though, they were really blue," Frank shook his head, looking at the floor.

Gerard felt something drop in his heart. Something tingle in the back of his skull. "What?"

"I kissed him, but it was too hard to pretend. I thought it would be like... I don't know, coffee. But it was more like beer... and regret," he chuckled sardonically.

"...So, you kissed a guy at a party and didn't like it?" Gerard concluded.

Frank looked up and shook his head slightly yet again. He bit his lip and glanced away before deciding something, stepping forward in one motion, grabbing the front of Gerard's t-shirt roughly in his fist and pulling him forwards, effectively smashing their lips together.

Gerard made a shocked noise against his lips, _Frank's motherfucking lips_ , small and high in his throat before he gained control of his body and started to kiss back, bringing his hands up to Frank's shoulders as he finally moved his lips sloppily against the teenager's.

He snaked his arms around Frank's neck loosely, pushing his fingers into the back of his hair as Frank's tongue entered his mouth. He didn't know what the fuck was happening, but he was going along with it. He got to kiss Frank. Frank had been kissing random dudes imagining that they were him. Blondie was out of the picture. Gerard didn't know what kind of gods were answering his prayers, but he put all of the confusing stuff that really mattered out of his head as he forced himself to enjoy this seemingly once in a lifetime experience.

He felt Frank's warm hands going up the back of his shirt, rubbing up and down his sides before he was being pushed backwards. He was stumbling backwards as Frank pushed him, still attacking his mouth as Gerard fell back onto the bed, Frank landing on top of him roughly, legs on either sides of his hips.

Gerard broke the kiss for a moment and looked up at him, into his eyes. He could feel Frank's breath pant across his face, his chest expanding with his breaths right up against his.

"I thought you were straight?"

"Obviously not," Frank told him, kissing him again briefly.

"But-" Gerard spoke against his lips before Frank sighed and leant up on his elbows.

"I know that you know that people can like both guys and girls," Frank told him, looking at him quizzically.

"I didn't know that _you_ did," Gerard said defensively.

"Well... me neither but it took me a while to figure out that reason I was so obsessed with you wasn't just 'cause I was a psycho, but because I... I liked you. I like you," Frank told him. The only reason that he was so confident was because he was practically certain that Gerard liked him too. Gerard had always been horrible at hiding it.

"I like you too," Gerard smiled shyly.

"Trust me, I know," Frank said, leaning down and kissing him again, wiping any sort of coherent thoughts from Gerard's mind, and if he was thinking clearly he would be wondering about the 'I know' part. Was he really that obvious?

But then as Frank tilted his hips down against Gerard's, it suddenly didn't matter anymore. Frank liked him. Frank actually liked him.

He was smiling into the kiss, only slightly, and he brought his hand down to cradle the side of Frank's face and feel his jawline moving as Frank kissed him contently.

He never finished those gory paintings. He didn't feel a need to anymore, his anger and frustration was erased with every sweep of Frank's hand across his skin. Every soft bite, every word whispered between the two was healing him in a way, because for once things didn't seem so messy and so frantic.

Frank liked him, and he continued to like him, throughout his senior year of high school and throughout Gerard's next year of college, and for a while Gerard seemed on edge, just waiting for it all to come crashing down, for someone to say that it was all too good to be true, that he actually didn't deserve any of this at all, for Frank to love him. But that never happened.

Gerard folded Frank's last pair of ratty jeans and placed them in their closet, all of their things sitting side by side, feeling accomplished. Feeling adult-y, and overall just too overwhelmed with the knowledge that this was the home that they shared together. It was their bed, that they slept in together every night, and that was their kitchen where they stood and drank coffee and all too little real food, and that was their living room where they watched tv and fell asleep curled up together after shitty sitcom re-runs at two in the morning.

Gerard walked into the kitchen, smiling as he saw that there was only empty boxes by the front door. They had everything put away, finally. It had taken the entire day.

Frank shouted a while ago that he had ordered pizza to eat, they were both too exhausted to actually make something, that would probably turn out shitty even if they hadn't been moving every possession they'd ever owned into their house all day.

Just as Gerard was heading to the sink, there was a knock at the door, and Gerard heard shuffling from the living room.

"My wallet's on the table," Frank shouted from the other room, obviously doing something, so Gerard went to the kitchen table, grabbing Frank's wallet before opening the door for the pizza guy.

"It's fifteen bucks," the guy said, and Gerard dug around in Frank's wallet trying to find a twenty, when he found a crumpled up receipt in the part where your bills go. He took it out and opened it up, glancing across it quickly before he shoved it in his pocket and got the money to pay the guy standing there impatiently. He gave the man an apologetic look, and told him to keep the change as he took the pizza, shutting the door behind him and placing Frank's wallet back on the table.

Frank walked into the room and took the pizza box from Gerard, kissing him on the cheek in the process. "I finally got all the DVD's on the shelf, come and see," he told him, leading him into the other room, and Gerard followed willingly, leaving the receipt to the back of his mind for now.

Gerard had told him what a good job he'd done organizing the living room, and they ate pizza on the couch and watched an old movie that they hadn't seen in ages, and everything seemed perfect. They were finally moved it completely, they could relax now.

Frank said that he was going to go to bed, and Gerard went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. It wasn't until he was undoing his jeans that he felt the crumpled receipt in his pocket and he pulled it out, flattening it to read it properly. He wasn't sure what he read in the entry way earlier. He was sure that he'd read it wrong, but now, reading it in the clear light of the bathroom, he was sure.

And the thought of it made him queasy, to be honest. Because it was a receipt for a lingerie store, dated one week ago.

The paper shook in his fingers as he let himself slide to the floor. His back was pressed against the cool side of the tub. He let the receipt fall to the floor beside him, staring straight ahead.

Across from him their brand new toothbrush holder sat, with his and Frank's toothbrushes sitting side by side, the handles touching.

So this is how it ends, he thought.

Two years, they were together, and despite how much he couldn't understand how Frank could like him at the start, Frank proved to him the love he had for him over time. He proved that just because he'd dated girls didn't mean that he couldn't love a man.

And Gerard had believed him, he believed that he was good enough.

But maybe not. He didn't want to, but he started to let himself go down the dark path of imagining what Frank bought, and for who. Was it someone he met at work? Frank got a job at a music store after he graduated high school. How long had he known her?

Oh, god. How long had they been together for? How many times did they.... he didn't even want to go there.

Silently, Gerard started to cry as he thought about Frank cheating on him. He believed him wholeheartedly, he believed everything. Was Frank really that good of a liar? That he could look Gerard in the eyes and tell him that he loves him while fucking someone else behind his back? Was he really capable of that?

Gerard rested his forehead on his knees as he tried to control his breathing. His tears soaked through the denim and made two dark patches on the fabric. They just got this apartment together. Was it that Gerard was too busy with his art for Frank? That he wasn't there enough? Maybe that was it. Frank just needed more. He needed something that Gerard could never give him. Maybe none of it was enough. Maybe this was all a lie that Gerard was stupid enough to believe. The guy of his dreams falling in love with him. The great job, the perfect home, the supportive friends. Maybe he truly didn't deserve any of it.

He didn't realize that his sobs were growing louder, they could be heard outside the bathroom, but he was so overwhelmed with heartbreak that he couldn't care less whether Frank could hear him. He was devastated.

"Gerard, are you okay?" Frank asked from the other side of the door.

Gerard just sniffled and stared at the grimy tile.

"Babe?"

"Stop!" Gerard yelled at him, his voice thick with emotion.

"Stop what?" Frank asked gently.

Gerard made a strangled noise in the back of his throat involuntarily. This was it. He was mad. He was so frustrated with himself that he could be so stupid. Frank had always been interested in girls, since the very beginning Gerard distanced himself from him because of that very fact. He was straight, and Gerard was just the pathetic brother of his best friend that developed a juvenile crush on him.

He thought back to when Frank confronted him after months, about him hiding away, him trying to get over Frank, even though nothing happened between them. He was trying to make himself forget but Frank pushed himself back into Gerard's life no matter how hard Gerard tried to shut him out.

The girl was gone, and all of a sudden he wanted him. Gerard should have been suspicious. Looking back on it now, Gerard knew he should have asked more questions, he shouldn't have just blindly accepted Frank's change in attitude, but back then, who could blame him?

Deep down, he must have believed that he deserved the love that Frank revealed he had for Gerard, or the beginnings of love. He didn't question it, it was as if all of the puzzle pieces of his life were finally falling into place. It was what he believed was meant to happen.

But now... somewhere it all went wrong, without Gerard even knowing. Maybe Frank truly did care about Gerard, maybe he cared about him so much that he didn't want to see him torturing himself with a love that would never be returned to him, and the only way for Frank to help him was to give him what he wanted, what he craved for.

"What's wrong?" Frank asked, suddenly right in front of him. Gerard cringed at the worry in his tone, the seriousness. Was he really being that genuine, or was it all a show? He didn't know what he could trust anymore.

Frank's hand was a warm weight on his knee, pushing his leg down to reveal his face, but Gerard turned away. He didn't want to look at him. To see the man he loved, and know that this was all a sham, that this was some sick sort of sympathy-pity relationship made his stomach turn and the tears flowing down his cheeks continue at even a faster rate.

He knew that if he looked at Frank, he would only want comfort from him, which he was angry about because he shouldn't. He should be mad, he shouldn't want Frank to be the one to make this all better, but he just couldn't... stop.

He couldn't turn it all off just like that. He couldn't turn two years of love and adoration and downright enthralment off in twenty-five minutes. Twenty-five weeks might not even be enough time to eradicate himself of his love for Frank, what was once a welcoming feeling, like a warm, rich blanket enveloping his soul and drawing him in to the younger man, now something to resent, something to loathe.

"Gee, you're scaring me," Frank told him, more firmly this time. More serious. Gerard could hear the slight fear in his voice. His hand hovering near his body, but not touching. Too afraid to touch for fear that something was really wrong, that he would hurt him. Something was really wrong, but he had already done enough in Gerard's eyes.

After a few more moments of Gerard trying to shut everything out and sink into that bathroom floor so that he would never have to deal with this, deal with the pain of this, his body was slowly moved and he felt Frank's arms coming up around him. Frank had pulled him up into a sitting position, leaning his body against his chest, wrapping him up tightly against him.

"Shhh, breathe. Take deep breaths," he told Gerard. He crushed his eyes shut and tried to ignore the feeling of Frank's body around him, sickeningly warm. He tried to tell himself that he didn't like it. That he didn't want to stay here. That Frank's words, and just his voice soothed him and calmed his tears within a pathetically short period of time.

He needed him, he knew that. And he hated himself for it.

For a long time it was just breathing. Frank's was calm and even, Gerard could feel his chest expanding slightly with each breath, the slight exhale of air into Gerard's hair. At some point he opened his eyes and stared unfocused at whatever was in front of him. The inside of Frank's bicep, clothed in his soft cotton shirt, and the vague grey of the flooring.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" Frank whispered after a long time.

Gerard licked his lips, his mouth felt dry. He could feel where the tears had dried down his face. He didn't know what to say, how he should tell Frank that he knows. That he knows about everything.

"When I got the money out of your wallet," Gerard began, his voice was quiet and hoarse, "I found the receipt."

"What re-" Frank turned his head and stopped mid sentence, seeing the crumpled piece of paper lying a few feet away from them. He reached over, moving Gerard slightly as he picked it up. Gerard was facing the other way, but he could hear Frank unfold it with one hand and presumably read it.

Frank's breath hitched, and then he sighed deeply.

He leant his forehead on the top of Gerard's head, a heavy weight that made him nervous. What was going through Frank's mind? Was he angry, embarrassed, or just annoyed that he got caught? Was he sad, or was he just disappointed that he couldn't keep his charade going? The one where he got what he wanted, what he needed from someone else, but still didn't hurt Gerard.

"I don't know what to say," Frank said after a while.

"How long?"

Frank shook his head minutely. "I thought about it. I've thought about it for maybe a year, but I didn't-. Not until a couple weeks ago."

"Have you always known? Ever since you met me?" Gerard asked. Neither of them were looking at each other.

"I think so, yeah," Frank said sadly."I just didn't... act on it. For a while."

Gerard processed this. It was everything that he thought. There was the last thing, the most important thing.

He felt the soft fabric of Frank's shirt move against his chapped lips as he spoke. "Do you still love me?"

Gerard almost thought he could feel his heart clench up after he said it. It was subjectively the most important question he'd ever asked in his entire life. And they were on the bathroom floor.

"What?" Frank asked, pushing Gerard away from him to look into his eyes. His brows were furrowed and his hands were holding Gerard's arms tightly. "Of course I still love you, what are you talking about?"

What should have been a reassurance only felt like one more painful twist to the knife in Gerard's heart. "How can you love me if you're doing this? Don't lie to me Frank. Don't lie to me anymore," he breathed out shakily.

"You have to understand baby, I was scared to tell you. I didn't know if you would understand, and I guess that I was right..." Frank shook his head, looking sadly at Gerard. "You know, I really thought that you would be more accepting."

"Wh-"

"And I love you so much, Gee. You must know that. I don't wanna lose you over _this_."

Gerard stared at him and struggled for words. "You're- you're fucking- you're cheating on me! Why would you think I'd be understanding?!" he yelled, getting truly angry for the first time.

Frank flinched, and visibly processed his words as his grip on Gerard's arms lessened.

"I'm not cheating on you."

"Yes you are!"

"No... I'm pretty sure I'm not. Gerard, what are you talking about?"

"The receipt! You're cheating on me and you bought lingerie for some girl so you can fuck her when I'm not paying attention to you because I lock myself in my office for hours at a time painting and forgetting to eat let alone giving you any attention at all because I'm a horrible _horrible_ person..."

"...Baby I'm not... I'm not fucking cheating on you. The receipt wasn't cause I was buying something for somebody else."

Gerard looked at him with confusion. "What are you saying?" he asked, not putting it together.

"Gerard, I..." Frank looked away from him. They were still sat closely together, their knees touching. Gerard's upset emotions were slowly fading away. He looked at Frank's turned head, his stubble growing the faintest amount, the shadows cast on his face from the unpleasant white bathroom light.

"It was for me." he said.

"It was for you," Gerard said, emotionless.

"I wanted to surprise you with it. I was gonna show you the day that I bought it, but I was just so fucking scared of what you would think. So I thought... that I would just let myself get used to it for a while before I showed you," he said in a quiet voice.

Frank slowly shifted on his knees and shuffled around to kneel in front of Gerard, hands hesitating for a minute around his fly. Gerard looked at his crotch, brows furrowed, before glancing back up at Frank's nervous face.

Frank popped the button open, and undid the zipper, closing his eyes because he couldn't bear Gerard's reaction. He hooked his thumbs in the waist of his jeans and shimmied them down his hips a bit, revealing black lace.

Gerard's eyes widened at Frank pulled his jeans down lower ever so slowly, he almost couldn't believe what he was seeing. The black panties were tight on Frank, the elastic at the waist making small divots into the fleshy part of his hips. The dark trail of hair that travelled down from Frank's belly button looked nothing other than obscene covered by the delicate looking lace of the panties, fit with the little bow that adorned all women's underwear right in the centre.

Frank's eyes were still closed and he was biting his lip harshly in anticipation. He didn't open his eyes until he felt the feather light touch of Gerard's fingertips.

Gerard stared at Frank in some strange combination of wonder, amazement, and want. Everything about their previous conversation had dissipated from his head, his attention was far more focused on Frank's nervous breathing in the silence of their bathroom and the outline of Frank's dick through the fragile panties, the tattoos over Frank's torso shockingly masculine in comparison.

Gerard took a deep breath, his hand seemingly unable to move away from Frank's skin. "Where did this come from?" he asked, looking up at Frank. He had no idea that this was something that he thought about, that this was something he wanted. Now that he thought about it, Gerard wasn't even against the idea, it was just the shock of it all that made him hesitant.

Frank sat down on his knees because the tile was starting to hurt. He noticed that Gerard was still touching the lace, but he didn't say anything.

"I've had the idea for a while. I've wanted to do it for... a long time. But it was always just something that I thought about but never thought would actually happen," Frank sighed. "Until this week. Us moving in together, it's like a big step in our relationship, you know. It means that we're serious about each other, and I don't know. I just thought that I was ready to bring this up to you. But every time it seemed like the right time I just... got too scared."

"This is something you want? You're not just doing it for me? Because you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with..." Gerard trailed off, wary of how nervous Frank seemed.

Frank shook his head. "No, I want it. It's for me, but... it could be for both of us. If you like it," Frank glanced up at Gerard almost hopefully.

"I like it, Frank," Gerard reached out and pulled Frank into his lap by his hips, holding the younger man close. He rested his elbows on Frank's thighs that were on either side of his legs, his fly pulled widely open in their position. "But I wanna hear you say it. Tell me what you really want. What you've been thinking about for so long but were afraid to tell me," he asked in a low voice.

Gerard could hear Frank breathing a little faster than usual. He squirmed on his lap before bringing his hand up to the back of Gerard's neck. Gerard met his eyes and looked at him intently.

Frank gathered his courage and confessed in a breathless voice that seemed so unlike himself, but that Gerard has gotten to know so well. "What I'd love, is for you fuck me in this lingerie. Without even taking them off. I want you to make me want it. Tease me and then fuck me so that I come from just the feeling of the lace."

Gerard groaned, his mind opening up to the idea that Frank would be into this. He squeezed his hips, kneading the flesh under his hands and rocked Frank down into him gently. "Yeah, you want me to?" he asked, pressing their foreheads together. "Right now?"

Frank nodded and rolled his hips down into Gerard harder. "Yeah, right now," he told him, his voice whiny. "Please."

Gerard pulled back and looked into his eyes. Frank's lips were parted open, his breath coming in pants, his hair hanging floppy over his face. A rush of something deeper surged inside Gerard, something raw and powerful. "Get on the bed, and wait for me."

Frank swallowed looked in between Gerard's eyes, pushing off of his lap before walking out of the room.

Gerard let out a breath, and ran his fingers through his hair roughy. Fuck, this was unexpected, but now he knew that this was what Frank wanted, he wanted it too. Deeply.

The look in Frank's eyes, the way his flitted away every time they met Gerard's, and the anxious aura surrounding him. It was almost as if he was scared to ask Gerard because he knew he would say yes.

In order to draw it out and make Frank wait on the bed a little longer, Gerard got up and brushed his teeth, straining his ears to try to hear what Frank was doing in the other room. But there was no shuffling of clothing or drawers being opened. Just silence.

Gerard rinsed his mouth and turned the bathroom light out, stepping into their brand new bedroom.

In the corner was their shared closet where Gerard spent the day folding and putting away their clothing. And on the bed was Frank, kneeling with his legs slightly spread, hands behind his back.

Gerard walked over slowly, eyeing Frank. He'd never done anything like this before, they'd never done anything like this together. They were always equals when they had sex, ever since the beginning. No matter who topped or who bottommed, there was always an unspoken understanding that they each held the same sort of power. They didn't have to talk about it, it just happened.

But this, this was so much different. Frank was avoiding eye contact, he looked down at the bedsheets in between his legs. Gerard didn't know whether it was part of the whole thing that they were trying out, or if Frank was genuinely nervous about this.

There was no reason for them to be scared, they'd done this plenty of times since they'd gotten together. It was just the fact that it was so different now. An anxious aura floated in the air around the two of them, Gerard could almost feel it like an electricity against his skin as he approached the foot of the bed.

Frank's hair hung in his face, so Gerard couldn't really read his expression. The only thing that let him on to how Frank was feeling was the younger man's quick, shallow breathing in the quiet room.

Gerard pulled Frank's bangs out of his face and threaded his fingers into the hair at the crown of Frank's head, tilting his face upwards forcefully.

Frank's eyes were wide and he blinked them rapidly, searching Gerard's for some sort of clue as to what was going to happen next. What Gerard would do to him. But Gerard's expression didn't give anything away.

"Strip for me," Gerard told him, letting go of his hair so that Frank could move further up on the bed.

Frank swallowed dryly and shuffled backwards before sitting up further on his knees. He looked at Gerard as he pulled he hem of his t-shirt up, exposing the swallows and words inked there. In one fluid motion he pulled the shirt over his head with both arms, flinging it over the side of the bed.

Gerard absentmindedly ghosted his hand over his thigh and to his crotch where he was slightly hard already.

Frank slid his hand down from his chest, to his stomach, to the waistband of his undone jeans before he pushed them down slowly, revealing the black lace that Gerard had already burned into his mind.

Frank sat back and pushed his jeans over the side of the bed before he laid back and gazed up at Gerard, resting his arms above his head in a matter that seemed comfortable and casual, but practically oozed submission.

Gerard tore his shirt over his head quickly and and kicked his jeans off before climbing up onto the bed, over Frank. He had an elbow resting beside his head, hovering near but not touching.

He sighed, his eyes flicking over Frank's anticipatory features. He gnawed on his bottom lip, his eyes practically begging Gerard to do something. But he didn't say anything. He wanted Gerard to do this how he wanted to. He was curious to see where he took this. Frank knew Gerard extremely well, or at least he would have said that a few hours ago. But now, it was like Gerard was a new man. There was something behind his olive eyes that was never there before. Frank couldn't describe it but it made his heart pound against the walls of his chest in a off beat sort of rhythm.

"So what is it about this that you like? Hm?" Gerard asked, his voice low and demanding. He placed his hand on Frank's stomach, trailing it down, his fingertips brushing through the dark hair scattered below his navel. The lace felt slightly on the rough side of soft against the skin of his palm. He could imagine what it felt like for Frank. Why he liked it.

He moved his hand lower, cupping Frank through the thin fabric. He could feel the outline of his cock perfectly in his palm. Frank breathed in sharply at the slight pressure, and closed his eyes slightly, trying to compose himself. He didn't actually think that Gerard wanted an answer.

Gerard brushed his thumb slowly up and down the line of his cock. He felt Frank slowly get harder underneath the warmth of his hand.

"I'm waiting," Gerard told him.

Frank panted slightly, forcing his eyes open to look at Gerard. His body was thrumming and his chest was flushed. This was his sexual fantasy come alive. He couldn't listen and answer Gerard's questions. Not with Gerard doing this to him. But still, Gerard looked at him with an expectant glare. Waiting. Watching. He had a feeling that this wouldn't be going any further unless he cooperated. Deep down he wanted to, no doubt about it. He wanted to do whatever Gerard told him.

"Um..." Frank tried to concentrate on something other than his dick. He tried to gather his puddle of a brain. "I like the feeling of it."

Gerard moved his hand lower. "Go on."

"I like... how it's fragile. The thought that you could rip the lace off of me if you wanted to."

Gerard pushed the lace to the side and pressed against Frank with his forefinger with just enough force to be teasing.

Frank breathed in harshly, trying not to press down against him. "It makes me feel like you could take control of me..."

Gerard listened, bringing two fingers into his mouth to suck on. He watched Frank while he did it, making sure to get them wet enough. His gaze told Frank to go on.

"...and I don't have to think about anything anymore. Except for you."

Gerard smirked and took his fingers out of his mouth, his lips left shiny in the low light.

Frank felt his fingers against him, and he laid incredibly still waiting. He desperately wanted Gerard to just fuck him but if he was going to give up control and Gerard wanted to do it this way, he didn't really have a say in the matter.

Frank's mouth fell open as Gerard pushed two of his fingers into him finally, and Frank writhed at the feeling. He scrunched his eyes closed and breathed in short, heavy pants, all of his focus now on the feeling of Gerard's fingers fucking in and out of him slowly.

The drag of his fingers with just the spit as lube made everything a little more. A little rougher, a little more intense.

Frank felt and looked as if he was melting into the bed, his head tilted back with urgent, breathy moans escaping his lips. Gerard purposefully rubbed the pads of his fingers over the spot that made Frank back arch off of the bed.

"And that's what you want? For me to take _complete_ control of you?" Gerard asked, his fingers slowing down from their already gentle pace.

Frank opened his eyes and looked up at Gerard, his eyes taking a second to focus in the state that he was in. His hair was starting to stick to his forehead with sweat. Frank wanted to speak, he wanted to tell Gerard all about what he wanted, but all that came out of his throat was a whine, so he nodded his head to make his position even clearer.

Gerard felt a rush of heat course through his body at Frank's newly submissive nature, he lay there waiting, trying not to writhe on the bedsheets as Gerard practically tortured him with teasing.

Gerard sat back and ran his fingertips over the wet spot where Frank was leaking, turning the black lace and even darker colour.

Frank's eyes travelled down and settled on the outline of Gerard's cock through his briefs, hard and thick and perfectly visible as it was pressed up against his hipbone.

"Gerard, I'm gonna _die_ , I need _you_ ," Frank begged, his frustration becoming clearer when Gerard's cock was right there within arms reach.

Gerard smirked, finally relenting and moving to give Frank what he desperately wanted.

"Shhh," he calmed Frank, petting a hand down his chest before sliding his briefs off of his legs and onto the floor.

He kneeled onto the bed again and sidled up between Frank's legs, grabbing his hips and moving them into a position where they lined up.

Frank reached into the bedside table and grabbed the lube, practically throwing it at Gerard as he felt the brush of his cock against his ass.

Gerard smiled and took it from him wordlessly, pouring some out and stroking himself liberally with it.

Frank unabashedly stared at Gerard hand moving over his cock, making it shiny and wet and all so similar to the way that Frank's lips were wet and swollen from biting them so much.

Finally, Gerard was ready.

"Yeah, please," Frank whispered, moving his legs up to Gerard's waist.

Gerard pulled the lace panties to the side with the thumb of one hand, lining his dick up to Frank's opening with the other.

Gerard pushed against the pressure holding him back, making Frank wince slightly before Gerard sank in smoothly, absorbed by a feeling that almost made his brain shut off completely.

"Fuck," Gerard swore with gritted teeth, holding himself back as Frank fidgeted around, trying to breathe and make his muscles calm down.

After a second Frank shifted his hips up against Gerard's, a silent invitation to keep going, and with that Gerard put his arms under Frank's knees, holding onto the front of his thighs as he rolled his hips into him smoothly.

Frank's mouth fell open and his head tipped back against the pillow as Gerard slid in and out of him, pulling almost all the way out each time.

Gerard bit his lip and looked down, relishing in the feeling of the lace that was pushed to the side against his cock. He started fucking into Frank harder, making Frank whine high in his throat and mutter unintelligible things under his breath.

Gerard groaned, his grip on Frank's thighs flexing rhythmically as he thrust into him. As he drew closer to the edge, he mouth began to flow the unfiltered running commentary that went through his head, the impending orgasm leaving him almost unaware of the filth he was telling Frank in a wrecked voice.

"You love this, don't you? Getting fucked in lace panties like the slut you are. Couldn't even be bothered to take them off, you needed my cock too bad."

Frank pushed his face into his bicep, practically biting at the skin. He wrapped his legs around Gerard's waist and thrust in time with his movements, pushing Gerard further into him.

"Look at you, spreading your legs further for me. You can't get enough-"

Frank threw his head back and moaned loudly, his stomach muscles fluttering as he began to come. Gerard continued talking but it was as if he barely registered it. It was all too much. Gerard fucking into him, rubbing over his spot again and again, the slew of Gerard's fuck-induced commentary.

Frank tightened around Gerard, and Gerard watched as Frank's cock pulsated under the lace of the panties, his come seeping through the thin fabric.

"Gonna come in you, just like you want," Gerard gritted out as thrust into Frank a few more times, coming deep inside of him as he focused on the obscene contrast of white leaking out of the black lace.

Gerard collapsed on top of Frank as they both panted together, Gerard's face buried in Frank's hair and neck.

After a moment, he slipped out of Frank and sat up, pulling the wrecked panties off of Frank's legs and onto the floor.

When he laid back down beside the younger man, the latter had a serene, fucked-out sort of smile on his face as he stared at Gerard.

"What?" Gerard asked, his voice tired and his body lethargic. He dragged his arm over Frank's ribs as he took in Frank's curious gaze.

"Nothing, I just-," Frank continued smiling. "I'm never gonna keep a secret again."

**Author's Note:**

> the amount of time this took me to write bc i wrote like one paragraph at a time and then gave up
> 
> pls let me know what u thought/leave kudos if you liked, or head over to my tumblr: newjerseyfucker :)


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